Always looking for something else

Our time is short

“i’ve known amy winehouse for years. when i first met her around camden she was just some twit in a pink satin jacket shuffling round bars with mutual friends, most of whom were in cool indie bands or peripheral camden figures withnail-ing their way through life on impotent charisma. to me, with my limited musical knowledge this information placed amy beyond an invisible boundary of relevance; ‘jazz singer? she must be some kind of eccentric,’ i thought. i chatted to her anyway though, she was after all, a girl, and she was sweet and peculiar but most of all vulnerable. i was myself at that time barely out of rehab and was thirstily seeking less complicated women so i barely reflected on the now glaringly obvious fact that winehouse and i shared an affliction, the disease of addiction. now amy winehouse is dead, like many others whose unnecessary deaths have been retrospectively romanticized at 27 years old. whether this tragedy was preventable or not is now irrelevant. it is not preventable today. we have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease.”
-Russell Brand, of Amy Winehouse.

Such a soulfully powered artist and great loss. I am sickened at the jokes that have arisen from such an iconic death and think such humor is completely shameful. Some demons are far too powerful for us to grab hold of and manage, and sometimes, that are too much for one person to bare. Rest in peace.

Welcome home

Hello beautiful people,

I've touched down back in Sydney, reunited with my glorious bed after a whirlwind trip to visit my wonderful family in New Zealand. I know I don't speak or refer to them much on here, but that doesn't mean that they aren't the most amazingly breathtaking and generous group of people I've ever had the pleasure of calling my own. When it comes down to it, there is very little that overrides family.

Anywho, I'm in Sydney for a few days and then I'll be back on a plane to Melbourne for the week. I'll post when and where possible.

Welcome to my new, and apparently very talented followers!
I promise that some deeper posts are on there way.

Always,
Hannah!

Who do you want to be

Always forever.

"There is always that one person, no matter how long it's been, or how badly they've treated you, if they say I love you, you will say it back"

I could never hate you quite as much as I love you, and just as both amounts are equally immeasurable, I'm not entirely sure which is more significant anymore.

"I'm not lost, just wandering"

I'm still learning

There is a magic in our fingers and I need to believe in this so badly; in me; in you; and in the way that none of this makes any sense. The world will continue to spin and this will all work out exactly how it is meant to, love, because that is precisely what fate is, and we've got to find a way trust it.

Step back,

More often than not, things don't change; people do.

It's cold here

"The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Every day we face the same truth; that life is fleeting; that our time here is short"
-OTH

Some days are easier than others. Some days, I wake up convinced that I can get through another day without you next to me; some days I am strong; some days I let myself believe that everything is going to be okay.
And then there is the rest of the days, the days that are not so easy; the days that take all of my strength to get to; the days that I know it would be a million times easier to just give up.
But I will not give up, because even though you are not here anymore, I know that you are always with me and you provide me with a strength that I do not know.
People say that it gets easier everyday. I think people are wrong.

I want to runaway.

I care too much

All my broken bits sit cradled in your hands, and I cannot blame you for the fragments that have managed to find their way through the cracks in between your fingers and become lost in the realities of this world that are beyond the two of us.
It is easy to find myself wrapped in your hollowed voice while you fill all the voids that I never quite knew existed. You would always be whispering to me, promising me things on days that might never come.

When I am with you everything is fuzzy and you are the golden star hung on the darkest of nights. I know that it is lonely and cold without you, but recently you've been out of my reach and I am left to wonder what's worse; claiming to have you and being empty or not having you at all and potentially finding something that works.

I need to know that I can be happy without you. There have been times when I have sworn that I'd never take you back, but in the back of my mind I knew you would be there, waiting for me when things got ugly and I needed you. You are my training wheels, my comfort zone and my stability and maybe I'm not quite brave enough yet to sail without you. 
I want to be brave. 

Point and case.

Something to think about

"Maybe our favourite quotations say more about us than about the stories and people we're quoting" 
-John Green

Everyday

Where will your mind go...

... When you let it roam free?

Update

It's Just over three months till I run away to Europe for a little while, and it couldn't have come at a better time. The last time I was this confused with my life, I think I may have been learning how to crawl. Full time study + full time career + full time love complications and trip planning = exhaustion and bad decision making, and I highly recommend that everyone avoiding finding themselves on the equals side of that equation.
This life has been a little testing lately, pushing me to learn more about myself and what it is that I want and I have given this link out to a lot of people who shouldn't follow my decision making process and my indecision, which in a way explains my absence of late. However I am going to make a larger effort to chuck full-effort blogging back into my schedule!
I'm off to new Zealand for a little while and will keep you posted!

Lots of love to my bloggerbees! I look forward to catching up with your writings
Xo

I WANT TO SAVE YOU

I want to save you,
But you will you ever rescue me?
Because I've already begun to drown,
Submerged in your deceptive seas.

Let's run away sugar,
And leave these tangles behind
We can find ourselves a secret place
We can be redefined

Won't you let me in
Show me all that you've trapped inside
You've got my secrets baby,
Ain't nothing you need to hide.

You are all of my reasons,
All that I have ever known
And despite this emptiness
Know that you are never alone.

I want to save you,
But I don't know where to start,
I want to save you
But you broke my heart.

-Sorry for my absence yet again, have had multiple thongs to deal with. Here is a poem I wrote lying in bed tonight. It's a bit rough. Missed my bloggerbees ♥