Advice,

Just keep your head held high.

The Last Straw

And just like every other time that has come before; it was no different.
You used me, successfully to get exactly what you wanted and have officially screwed me over for the last time.



"Next time baby, I'll be bulletproof"

Yes, please.

'Do you have a story, do you have a story for me?
One where we all live happily...'

♥ ♥ ♥

Hindsight

Come hold my hand and whisper in my ear that everything will be okay again...


Even though I know it's probably too late to admit it, I know how perfectly you fit with me.

I want you.
I miss you, more than I thought possible.

Fairytale

What happens when the happily ever after fails; when all that we had previously dreamed about fails us and leaves us without the misleading pleasantries we had always dreamt of?
How do we decide our next step when what we have settled with becomes stripped away from us, leaving us with an overwhelming feeling of being almost completely bare?

Although inevitably each one of us are different and present vastly contrasting solutions to each of these daily ongoing dramas, I decided that I am going to fight.
I don't want to wake up one day in the future and wish that I had given it just that one last shot. I do not want to surround myself with consistent thoughts of 'what if'.
Even though you heavily exceed my patience levels, I refuse to give in just yet.
So although it may be over and I could more than likely be wasting my time, I want to be certain that I did not give up, that I gave you my very last shot.
Always and forever, constant.
♥

Superman

You called me strong, you called me weak but still your secrets I will keep,
You took for granted all the times I never let you down.
You stumbled in and bumped your head, if it's not for me then you'd be dead,
I picked you up and put you back on solid ground.
♥

Thank You

We are just beginning to sort everything out,
I like where this is heading.
♥

Stay

There now steady love, so few come and don't go.
Will you, won't you, be the one I'll always know?
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down.
It's always have and never hold,
You've begun to feel like home.
♥

Awake

I don't know why I can't help but have you constantly circulating through my head.
No matter what happens; all the hurdles, everything we go through which still continues today, I can't help but want you around again. I miss all your messages and kisses and just everything about you on a complex and general level.
I do not mind if you don't come back, but at least treat me like I exist again.
I miss you & I still want you, just like before.

Memories

Hello,
I've waited here for you everlong. 
Tonight I throw myself into
& out of the red, out of her head she sang 

Come down and waste away with me, down with me 
Slow; how you wanted it to be, 
I'm over my head, out of her head she sang.  

And I wonder when I sing along with you 
If everything could ever feel this real forever 
If anything could ever be this good again  

The only thing I'll ever ask of you, 
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when 
She sang  

Breathe out so I could breathe you in, hold you in. 
And now I know you've always been Out of your head, out of my head I sang.  

And I wonder when I sing along with you 
If everything could ever feel this real forever 
If anything could ever be this good again.

♥♥♥

Deprivation.

I cannot consciously remember the last time I was this exhausted, run-down and over-whelmed.
I need sleep, pronto!

For Keeps.

"Sometimes we learn something new about the past that changes everything we know about the present"

Never heard truer words, Amen.

Do not disturb.

I think I am beginning to become comfortable in this constant state of denial that I seemed to have happily myself settled into!
♥

Drop your defences.

I am beginning to find my own two feet on the ground in front of me again. Yes, they never really moved but now they are stable.

Today I begin the rest of my life and in this I have big decisions to make. I don't want to stay in this room, or this place. I want to do cartwheels with the red poppies in France and lie on the white sands of the Greek Islands, take hula lessons in Hawaii, shop in the markets of Istanbul, care for baby elephants in Africa and volunteer in shelters in the developing nations. I want to go to football games in the UK and all the pancake houses in Kentucky and Wyoming.
I want to make a difference and I want to have fun.
I want to be me, and I'd very much like to be in control of myself once again.

Here's to life!
♥

Grow tall

"Baby ballerina's hiding somewhere in the corner, where the shadow wraps around her and our torches cannot find her. She will stay there 'til the morning, crawl behind us as we are yawning and she will leave our games to never be the same.
You better run fast sugarcane"

If this isn't inspiration...

...I'll never know what is.

Going with the wind.

And darling, you knew that no matter what you did I would still stick around so instead of playing your cards carefully, you flung them at my face like a game of pick-up-52. Except this time the 52 cards were 52 pieces of me; each piece that you had broken but managed to pick up and keep safely.
Now my pieces are scattered all over the floor and they're blowing away in the wind.
Would you like to know what feels worse than knowing you don't want to pick them up anymore? The fact that I don't feel remotely like chasing them one last time.

Now I'm just riding it out, waiting for that last piece to blow away.
Let go.

Who disabled the help button in my life?

For the days like these, when you wish you could just go to sleep and wake up when all the dust has settled, when the drama and bullshit have subsided and everything returns back to its normal state. I don't know what to do. I don't know what move to make. I don't know who I can turn to. I don't know myself anymore. I don't know what I have done. I guess I don't know anything at all.
I need answers.

How can we say so much without words?

"At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say cause there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves."
♥

How did we get here?

Your absence. Your presence.
It tells me everything that I need to know really.
It's like I can almost pick exactly what your thinking by just having a vague idea of your whereabouts.

However, I don't like your absence and although I understand you have a hell of a lot of decisions to make, I want you to choose me.

Example: wise confession of Meredith Grey, "Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me."

Case and point, almost flawlessly, if only it was just that simple.
♥

Fact

I constantly underestimate everything!

Finally

I understand and I am sorry that it took me so long to see everything from your perspective.
I know you're trying really hard and I'm being nothing more than a nuisance.
But I am infallibly proud of you and admire your determination.
P.S I still think you are really, really amazing and you were totally right.
♥ ♥ ♥

Leave.

The one thing that annoys me most, is the way that you can just stand there and stare at me as if nothing ever happened.

I should never think whats in your heart...

"I should never think whats in your heart...so I won't.
You'll learn to hate me, but still call me baby. Oh love, so call me by my name and save your soul. Save your soul before your to far gone, before nothing can be done. I'll try to decide when she'll lie in the end. I ain't got no fight in me; in this whole damn world. She should hold off...it's the one thing that I've known. Once I put my coat on, I'm coming out in this all wrong.
She standing outside holding me saying 'Oh please, I'm in love...I'm in love'.
Girl save your soul, go on save your soul before it's to far gone and before nothing can be done cause without me you got it all so hold on.
Without me you've got it all, so hold on".

____________________________
This is my favourite and has quite definitely managed to capture and tell the story of my life just a little too perfectly. It is almost as if it was written to me personally, the explaination is almost the same.

Welcoming in November

To welcome in the new month I have recognized and said hello to the insane bags living underneath my eyes and goodbye to the person that caused them.

This is my new month resolution!
:)