How is it possible that once I had begun to believe that things held the most minimal chance of worsening, that they took a full throttle dive straight into the deep end?
Now I find myself in a state of constant repetition, reminding myself to breathe and smile, and then breathe again. I am trusting that this is all going to be some sort of temporary solution to my present problems however I believe I'm setting myself up for another complete letdown.
Instead of this smile and breathe technique, (which I must admit works incredibly well for the short-term period), I seem to find myself returning to that doomed state of denial where I attempt to block out the new stories that surface daily. I can return to pretending that none of this ever happened, I can pretend that I never screwed up and you never lost everyone you ever had (worth having). I can pretend that it was never real and you didn't break me. I can pretend that there was once an ounce of truth behind five months of lies. And I can continue to pretend we all stayed reasonably happy.
Alas, my question; how long can one truly be in denial for?
Mmm....
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