I forced my mind to forget everything, but it was okay because all those memories were written up and typed down in my computer, stored for the days i was allowed to remember you and everything I loved about you and about us. I got really good at shutting it out, so good that i have almost completely shut up all my memories of you, because sometimes it just hurt too much.
Now my computer is dead. And maybe this was a sign that I need to forget and living in this realm of memory is not good for me. It's funny that i was able to move on as long as I knew that somewhere all our memories and moments had been saved. Kind of like our relationship. I was able to move on as long as you were at arms reach when I needed you.
And i think the reason I'm most scared is that I'm starting to view my dead computer as a metaphor. Now that it is gone, away with all those memories, and things i loved, I'm scared you will be gone for good too.
Funny isn't it? When it comes down to it, we are no where as strong as we perceive ourselves to be.
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