I don't have any clues as to why I thought things would possibly be different this time, or as to I thought you may have actually thought of anyone other than yourself for the first time in your life, but I believed the better of you, like I always do; hoping and waiting for the decent man that I know you are to come shining through.
But for the up-thousandth time in the past year you've proved me wrong once again.
You just continue to show me the same ugly person you've become, full of deception and spite. And I continue to show you the same love and willingness and sheer stupidity that is constantly screwed up and thrown in a ball at your feet making me feel ridiculously betrayed and naive, two things that I refuse to be.
It's kind of shame really, that I still expect you to be everything I believed you to be and more. But if I accept that you can never be this person, then I am accepting the fact that I was never anything different to you and that is something I refuse to believe. I know for certain there was something different about us, even if it died long before I could let it go.
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