Can I go nowhere with you?

The only thing that we have for certain in this world is right now. You have pulled me from some of the blackest places that I have ever been and that is why I choose you, even though everything inside of me is breaking and telling me to run in the other direction, telling me to do whatever I possibly can to avoid feeling this way. But I choose you, every day, because I need you in my life. I am going to fight this, and I am just as aware that this very may well be the very thing to shatter me, but it could never hurt as much as knowing that I gave up on you. This is the only thing that I am sure of right now, and maybe this is the only thing that I will ever be sure of in this world.

All these secrets that I shouldn't tell.

More than distance between us.

'For the longest time after that, neither of us said anything. I was unaccustomed to his silence, but I didn't mind it. I knew near everything about him, and he knew near everything about me, and all that made our quiet a kind of song. The kind you can hum without even knowing what it is or why you're humming it. The kind that you've always known'

I miss that.

Some things in this life are too beautiful for us to understand

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life."

John Lennon

'Don't have to tell you, that I love your precious heart'

I will never forgive you for making me feel like this. I cannot decide what is worse; you're unaware of how your making me feel, or your simply don't give a damn.

The winds are blowing on the outside

This life is so cruel and testing sometimes.

This is so perfect for right now.

'I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up, I've never truly loved
Til you put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home...'

-Arms, Christina Perry


If I ever had to choose one song to define our story, this would be my frontrunner.

Jump

You said 'come what may' and asked me if I remembered, but how could I ever forget.

I do not love you.

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

-Pablo Neruda

A little bit raw

Sometimes I really want to disappear, but almost always, I am just wanting to be found.

I want to tell you everything

I want to write something that means something to you, something that will in some way change all the bad things that lead us to resent this broken revelry love. All I have are these endless words that could not possibly begin to convey the first inkling of the emotions that I have felt recently. These words, that don't string together as seamlessly as they once did. These words, that could never mean half as much to you as they to me when they're scribbled from my fingertips. 
One day, I hope to be able to explain exactly what it is about you that makes you bigger than this whole world, that makes you everything that I know I'll ever need. I spend a lot of time wishing that when this day does arrive, I am not too late to capture some of the magic that I know you've kept safe for us.

I'm always explaining myself

Sorry for my absence once again my beautiful bloggerbees! Have had a crazy filled few weeks.
On the plus side, I have booked a trip to Europe to run away for a little while.

You're still my only.

"So come on Love, draw your swords, shoot me to the ground. You are mine, I am yours, let's not fuck around because you are the only one. You are the only one"
-Angus and Julia Stone

I Carry Your Heart

Stay with me...

You can learn a lot about someone in two years, what makes them happy, the foods they'll eat and the types of movies they like. When you have known someone for two years, chances are you will be able to ramble off numerous facts about them. 
However, when you are in love with someone for two years, you learn a whole series of different things. You begin to learn the patterns in their face when they lie, the way they portray emotions that don't quite reach their eyes and what it means when they tell you a story but can't look you in the eye. You know the subtle difference between when they are pretending to be happy and when they are full of happiness, you communicate flawlessly with words not yet created and you can count every crevice that lies upon their face.
When you love someone for two years it becomes a peculiar thing; you realize that you know someone in a way that perhaps no one will ever know them again and you become immersed in their being that you cannot bear to let them disappear into the nothingness that remains  in case no one ever deciphers him the way you could. 

If there is anything you learn after two years, it is how to let someone go, but never stop loving them because you have learnt to love them in a way you never knew you could.

Explainations!

Firstly, my apologies for the massive lag in posts lately. In the last week or so I have been dealt a year's supply of negative karma that I deserved and so I have been working endlessly to get on top of the game and pull myself together. I promise posts will be back as normal next week!
Hope everyone is happy & well!
Peace + love to my beautiful followers that I adore!
xo

I'll follow you

Happy days.

I don't know when it became so apparent that I am ready for this. I want to run at you with full force and not be tempted by all that I leave behind.