Home is where the heart is

I will continue to travel all around the world and I will continue to to explore every corner of this crazy and unimaginable planet and I will continue to hate the thought of having to return to a sense of normality. But I will be the first one to say that there certainly is no place like home ♥

Update!

Hello my dearest Bloggerbees and thank you to my newest followers, you made me smile today! I am currently sitting in my hotel room in Bali with a pretty extreme case of sunstroke, but this place is beautiful and the people are so lovely that you forget about the pain you are in. Such a lovely little getaway if any of you are feeling a drastic need for a break! Also, happy valentines day, hoping you all get spoilt by someone amazing! Being a few thousand miles away from my partner isn't the most romantic valentines day, but I got a message at midnight asking if I would be his valentine haha, my dearest love! I've been trying to attach a picture of Bali for you all, however my ipad seems to be fighting me so it may have to wait till I am home. Hope you're all smiling, X

And the complications ran wild

I do not know what I what anymore. Nor am I particularly bothered to work it out. I just want to sit here and watch life fall into place around me. Why can't things be easy like they led us to believe they would be when we were younger. All my lose ends are getting tangled up and I am more than willing to cut it all loose.

If only

Absence

"The day after tomorrow" feels like an eternity away. Bed is too cold and too lonely without you and as much as I always laugh at you, I'd give almost anything to hear your raspy singing while I try to sleep. The day after tomorrow ♥

Dream big

Reflection

1 - Your best friend.

Olivia and Claire, I couldn't split the two. There isn't anything I can't tell them and I do not know where I would be if it was not for the constant presence of these two in my life.

2 - Your crush/lover.

My love, Benjamin ♥. I know that I whine and moan and complain, I throw throw tantrums and sometimes we drive each other completely insane, but I wouldn't change it for anything because there is not a night when I don't go to bed thinking about how much I love him, nor is there a morning I like saying goodbye to him. He pulled me from a pretty dark place and has put up with so much of my drama and I have no doubt that I have become a better person since he has been in my life.   

3 - Your parents.

The only reason that I have any faith in the concept of marriage. Two wonderful people who have always made everything work out in the best possible way for my brother and myself. If I ever make half the parents that they have been to me I will rest happily.

4 - Your sibling/closest relative.
My big brother: Couldn't have asked for a better brother, he has never failed to be there for me at any time of my life!

5 - Your dreams.
I have two;

1. Buy an apartment in New York ( perhaps Tribecca) and renovate it. I'd like to rent it out for 9 months of the year and live there for 3 months. 

2. The pursuit of happiness, which I suppose is everyone's ultimate dream, but it's getting really close and I think that I am finally beginning to sort out what it is that I want. 

6 - A stranger
Will only be a stranger as long as you let them. 

7 - An ex boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush.

Ex: It took me a long, long time to let you go. For a while, I didn't think I would ever get over you, but I was granted with the grace I needed and let you go. It's easy in hindsight, but I don't know why I believed in you for such a long time. And comparing it to what I have now, well no boy has ever made me this happy. 

8 - Your favourite internet friend.
Andrew H! He is a real life friend too, but he chats to me every time I sign in and lets me spill my heart all out and provides me with advice where possible! Such a great friend.

9 - Someone you wish you could meet.
I still want to know who I am going to marry, just think it would be a helpful thing to know!

10 - Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to.
My family, as much as I love them dearly I have made such a poor effort in keeping in contact with them! This year I am hoping to make a much greater effort in keeping in touch.

11 - A deceased person you wish you could talk to.
My dearest uncle Bill, who I hope is resting easy. The most bold and wild person I have ever met, there was never a dull moment with you around. We miss you every day you spark, taken far, far too early.

12 - The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain.
He knows exactly who it is, and I have nothing further to say about it. 

13 - Someone you wish could forgive you.
I am not seeking forgiveness.

14 - Someone you've drifted away from.
If I wrote a list of every person I have drifted from, my blog would have five new pages. Drifting is inevitable.

15 - The person you miss the most.
At this very moment? That would be my boyfriend, who went away this morning! He will be back on Sunday, but I could swear to God that sleeping alone has never been this cold. 

 16 - Someone that's not in your state/country.
Olivia! Cambodia has stolen my best friend!

17 - Someone from your childhood.
Shannon, grew up with her from 1st grade, such a significant part of my childhood.

18 - The person you wish you could be.

Independent, like I once was.

19 - Someone that pesters your mind - good or bad.
Ben, who is seemingly a part of everything I do these days.

20 - The one that your heart the hardest.
The one that was hardest on my heart? This one ♥

21 - Someone you judged by their first impression.
Everyone I have ever met.

22 - Someone you want to give a second chance to.
I gave out a pretty big second chance this week, and I'm not sure how I feel about it right now, so I'm holding off on second chances the time being.

23 - The last person you kissed.
My lovely boyfriend ♥ ♥ ♥ I love his kisses, but goodbye kisses are never my favourite.

24 - The person that gave you your favourite memory.
I have enough favourite memories to fill a book, I could never pinpoint it to one.

25 - Someone that changed your life.
Benjamin. I am a different person for having him in my life and I love every minute I spend with this boy even though I don't always say it. We have our ups and downs, but I don't doubt that we will be one of the greatest things I've ever known. I have become such a different person for just having known him in ways that I cannot yet explain.  

The time is now

'What you have to decide... is how you want your life to be. If your forever was ending tomorrow, would this be how you'd want to have spent it? Listen, the truth is, nothing is guaranteed. You know that more than anybody. So don't be afraid. Be alive'

-Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever