Welcome back

'E.E Cummings once wrote: To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best night and day to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight... and never stop fighting'.

Sorry about my absence the last few days... guess I have been busy living. I have defended and declared some pretty confronting situations on the battlefront of late, and I have newly discovered wounds and fixtures.

I am falling for this boy, who has shown me a type of connection that I was previously unaware existed. I was unsure that I could ever feel this way about anyone. And I know that I am hurting him, and tearing his head apart, but I suppose I am too selfish to walk away from this. I have a new fear; that being that I am scared no one will ever feel about me the way he does. Maybe, I am also scared that no one will ever compare to the way I feel about him.

I am also fighting an uphill battle for my ex to keep me in the last few months of his life. He doesn't want to know me anymore, and while I am struggling to come to terms to understand how he thinks he is protecting me by doing this, it's killing me to know that he is going through this alone.

There is a million other stories that I would love to share about the past few weeks, but it's closing time for my mind I think. I am going to resort back to that very constant topic that has been in the forefront of my mind and close my eyes to dream of this sweet, sweet person.