I figure that my mind is like my phone inbox.In each of them, I've saved all these messages that I refuse to delete but will not let myself read. My mind, it holds all these memories that are too painful to think about but I refuse to let myself forget.
But today, I found that in refusing to let myself think of these memories, they've started to slip. And now I am filled with this immense feeling of fear. I'm scared that I will forget what it feels like to have your chin resting on top of my head, the patterns of your stupid contradictory tattoos that I loved, how angry you'd get when I'd fall asleep, or the way you would make me so completely infuriated because you knew as soon as I began to sulk, your big smiley kisses could take away all the bad from my world. Most of all, I think I'm scared I'm never going to feel about anyone the same way again, and I hate you for leaving this massive gap to fill and I hate you for not caring enough when I need you too.
The dilemma to solve; do I keep these memories and come to terms with them fading, or delete them all together and take the rip-off-the-bandaid route of short but servere pain?
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