The hate I previously felt against you, for you, is gone. I don’t think it was really ever present. Regardless, I have very little feelings of dislike towards you anymore. Maybe it was more beneficial for me to hate you, and somewhere I wish that I still despised you to an extent. It was easier. I didn’t miss your voice and you hugs and your smile, your stubborn nature, your relentless efforts, your jokes, your laugh, your company, your big arms, your chin that fit so perfectly on top of my head, your cracked lips, the weird hairs on the inside of your arms, your ugly toenails that you pick, your never-ending embraces, your ridiculous messages that would always make me laugh, your music, your smile when you heard a song you loved, your groan, your perfect tattoos on your perfectly brown arms, your white chicken legs, your hands holding mine, your warm skin that you kept on mine when I had goose bumps, your hate for the heater, your hate for my hates, your hideous love for Tom Cruise, your whispers in my ears and your perfect sulky act that always got you exactly what you wanted.
When I loathed you I forgot these things, I didn’t have to miss them.
But I miss you in more ways than I could count and its beginning to become too much.
You said I shouldn’t have to loose everything to have you, but now that you’re gone I feel like I have lost everything anyway.
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