Made my bed.

You are right, this whole situation sucks, regardless of which angle you choose to examine it by.
It sucks that I am not going to be able to ring you crying in the middle of the night because some boy has screwed me over again, just so you can tell me it's my fault and make me laugh at the messes I get myself into.
It sucks that one day, way in the future, when my own children will ask me who the first person I loved was, or the first person that broke my heart was, and you aren't going to be around to show them.
It sucks that I wont be constantly searching for your ugly car anymore because you wont be around to drive it.
It sucks that I wont be questioned anymore when I stay out till all hours of the morning. Even though it made me angry sometimes, you always seemed to be the only one who noticed.
It sucks that I'm not going to have you screaming at me everytime something goes wrong in your life, even though it was never my fault. But just because it's us, and we've always blammed each other, and we've always made each other feel somewhat better about things.

But you know what really sucks, the fact that you are holding your increasing short time left over my head. I know your dieing and there isn't much time left and I'm dealing with it the very best I can. I dont have anyone else helping me through this, letting me lean on them. So I am dealing with your death alone, so keep throwing your insults, your criticism and your regrets at me. I'm through with your lies and games. I can't do this anymore.

It might seem like the worst time in the world to be closing the door on you, please know your death and you leaving me hurts more than I'll ever be able to explain, but no where near as much as the way you are currently treating me. I want to remember us the way we were, your last months shouldn't be tainted with the things you've recently done to me. This is one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.